grown up

it's been a long time i left school
feeling dread and relief cuz escaping from things that i want to avoid at all cost..
coward???TOTALLY
i'm a person who cannot face a situation..or damn serious situation where my emotion and my mind become blank...
i hate that kind of feeling...the way it feels makes me feel useless...
after that, continuing my diploma...
started to feel comfortable again...
but the challenge keeps me on the edge...
personal life, family, friends...
but thanks to Allah SWT..He did not left me all by myself...
alhamdulillah my gred were not so bad...
still there is something off...
and then..send to the south....deggreeeee....
i'm out of place.. coping and learning...new friends that have special place in my heart
bring me to the world that i do not know exist..
thanx guys for showing me...

being with others really show you how they cope with their life..
i'm learning that, still learning..
avoiding such 'disastrous' part of your life will not make you grown
i know i'm such an igrorant person...
being as me is totally not cool
friends..thank you for being there for for me..good and bad times..
forgiving me things that i make mistakes...
laughing and crying is part of our 'campus' life
my family...thanx for sticking up with me...
even i'm so childish...i'm still your baby gurl...hahahha
being me...still need to grow up...and up..up...
feel free to look down...
bcuz that's remind us how much effort that we spend to achieved what we have now...

hey

u know guys???
not everything will be own your way
please stop whining...
please stop thinking that you're the only one who getting hurt
maybe he's not for you
and you're not for him..
fate will guide you to the right one...

i know i'm nobody to you
who am i to give you some advise
just to say my friend
i am a sister to you (Muslim)
it's part of life babe..
learning to get hurt...
feelings...love someone...

hey don't be sad
don't cry over nothing
don't cry over love
don't cry over loneliness
just like myself...
so lonely

smile

sunshine
not always be our friend
raining
will follow us thoroughly
people
the words will never surprise us

face the fear
smile when you're feel dissappear
dissolve from the world
everything will be alright
everything will be alright
only you can console yourself

smile when your friend left you
smile when you are staring at the world
smile when you are alone
 

trying....

right now
i'm trying to breathe...
so suffocate...
there's no air
i'm walking in a road..
full of wondering
i need something to hold on
please hold my hand

i turn left
i saw a light
so bright but it's hurting me
so pain
turn right
a forest calling me
i walk
and walk
touching the grass
so soft

even i'm alone
i know you will come
even the path is unclear
the future will unleash it
slowly
we walk and met
give me smile and happiness
and i will the whole me to you
i'm trying
still trying
to be the perfect for you
balance for you

say stranger

say stranger...
walk...
eat..
silent...
pray...
where are you exactly??

say stranger..
i only saw your shadow..
it seems like you are carrying a heavy burden...
why don't you loosen up a bit??

say stranger...
why is it hard to talk to you??
do we need to talk to you only for important things??
why can't we get to know you better...
from your back,i only saw a wall...

say stranger..
time always precious...
our relationship as a friend may not long lasting
there's always separation between human..
as our road will be different path..

say stranger..
if you wish...................

WAR..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DECLARE WAR TO YOU..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you????
who are you????
hahahhahaha...thanx to mblaq....your new song..really cool..
makes me want to declare war to others for no reason..:P

the comment..here it comes......

the lyric.....whoa....!!!!
the dance.....can't say anything superb.....
music video....damn touching.....
http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=SbzWnQRecIs&feature=share

this one is the repeated version of "it's war"

i really like to hear song in youtube..but thanx to youtube again..bcuz you dun have button replay..so i have to put 'repeat' in front of the URL...so the song keep repeating itself...=3


so this is the music video.....

mblaq IT'S WAR

but please don't do this thing to your friend..even he is stealing your girlfriend.....feel like to shoot him or whatsoever......

result...~~

alhamdulillah..today is the best day..bcuz today is the result of my final exam..:)
and i'm quite happy about it..actually unexpected result..:)))
i'm not really good in study and my results are always average...enough 4 passing the next sem...
i hate to learn something that i'm not interested...
alhamdulillah...learning in islamic banking quite gives me a new learning..not only for the future,but also in hereafter..(learning islamic from the basic...)
people in U....my friends..gave support to each other..on the hard and happy times...
learning together....
and also blessing from Allah S.W.T and also family are the most important...
the reason's why i'm worried about the result bcuz of my timetable exam actually quite hectic...did not have time to prepare and read all the topics...the gap between papers are only 1 day..that's quite frustrating....but alhamdulillah...this is the best result that i've ever get....
need to be work hard
learn hard...
be proud of yourself....


alhamdulillah..syukur...

yet

i'm not missed you yet
after all we're arguing on small matters
i'm not missed you yet
since you came into my life and change the way i thought about you
i'm not missed you yet
when your number keeps popping on my handphone
i'm not missed you yet
even your stuff becomes mine
i'm not missed you yet
wherever i go your image keeps haunting me
i'm not missed you yet
when my heart always reaching you

still the word 'missing @missed' never into my life when i know you will cherished me....and life will be so colourful.....

happy birthday to 'you'

happy birthday to 'you'
got a few novels...
present from 'your' sisters and mother....
appreciate it....
a handful wish from friends....thank you..!!!!!
happy birthday to 'you' again..~~~

a nice day

i just bought a present for myself..as usual a novel...
paranormal romance actually..if you like the movie about twilight...the book that i'm buying it has also the same genre..meaning vampire,lycan, human and jaguars..but it's a bit different with the story...it's a bout a carpathian (race)who almost immortal...cannot see colours and emotion..but those things only can be restored by their lifemate...and they need to find their own woman...it's really sweet how they courted their woman..how they gonna tolerate between 2 different race...and the most important thing is..the feelings and the love that guide them....

maybe you think it is quite cheesssssy..but i really like it...i've die hard fan for the author who write this book....
she is christine feehan...if you want to try to read it..better start with dark prince...and you know what is carpathian actually...

you can read the first chepter in christinefeehan.com for free..but register first...:).....so you know how she write the story beautifully......

fool

i've made myself fool today...it's my mistake..sorry..and thank you

overdose thinking

when i opened my facebook...as usual...watching people's post and status...link etc...have you ever feel that sometimes they're quite annoying???

it doesn't matter what kind of topics they talked about, any nagging or what's happening to them....it's just how they express their feeling into words...but somehow it can be hurting to others...


i know someone from my fb..as i called anonymous is A...A always post about feelings and mistakes of other people...sometimes the posts are quite harsh to me and really straight forward...it makes me think.."tis is the real A??" or A wants to give advice to others???...but it changed my perception on A...

it's not i think they need to be polite and should think on other's people...it's just any post that can makes people misunderstanding about you....

i know everyone of you will think.."tis is my fb..so this is  my page...i dun give a s@#$ what you think.."it's true...but..still fb is not the place for you to express your anger or anything...that is why we have Allah...all the hardship and goodness came from Him...we should not sigh,complaint and tell the whole world about it...

tis is the way of my thinking...i 've done all kind of stuff on the above..and the result???worst..you lost all the trust of your friends...when you expose your angry to others in the fb..you can't take back what you said..believe me....it may reduce your anger..but prepare for the consequences...

sometimes i felt i want to remove these people...but think back...maybe they have a problem and need someone to consult and also need a place to let go all the anger...so the place they choose  is FB...maybe i'm the one should ignore them...???being an ignorant???or arrogant???it's my place to decide...

just as i mentioned on the above....THIS IS MY OVERDOSE THINKING...being too serious about it...

think wisely..
need to shut my mouth..
stop concerning about the others..
think about yourself first..
don't cross the line
THIS IS MY ADVICE FOR MYSELF...REMINDER.....REMINDER...

please don't be disturbed by this post...if you feel intimidated by this...i apologise...different people have different opinion...maybe you can change my opinion about this...: )

paradise

Please stay here, I’m asking you a favor,
I’ll treat you better, I can’t let you go yet
I must live, I must survive, cause I will stop some day
This place is a paradise only if you’re here
A paradise that has locked you in against your will
A sad paradise that you won’t go if you’re awake
A paradise that we can be together forever


a beautiful lyric from infinite....(korean group)....i need to know what's the meaning of the song..and totally the lyric and also the music really makes me feel wonder...how they interpret someone's heart into the songs...i really love it...just listen to it and lyric..you may know how i feel...

here's the song...

and also the reason i like this song bcuz of the dance...

enjoy

worrying over something

as we grow old...there are many things that we need to worry about... as i can see in my sister's life..it's hard to achieved what others being expected from us..and also our desire to accomplish everything...let me list some of the problems/targets

1.marriage..(it's a BIG no..MAJOR problems in woman's life...correct??)
2.work/profession..
3.in terms of financing..(how does your work will stabilize your life??)
4.family..(there are lots of problems......zzzzzzzzz)
5.future planning..
6.your parents life..

mybe some of the problems ..as i mentioned above...can be the source of your migraine???either you are the first child or not...whether you are man or woman...everything happen in your family need to be shared with other..i mean..your SIBLINGS ONLY...you can't throw away your family after being independent and lots of money...you are the children..and you have your own responsibility and roles...when your parents are getting older...you're the one will take responsibility to take care of them...especially if you are a guy...in Islam...after your dad passed away..you will be the head of the family..even you the second or third child....

being a woman is hard...people will have a high expectation from you...

1.after you've done with upsr..."will you go to boarding school??"how can i go there with my result..???its..###%#%#^$^$#...

2."how's ur pmr???....worst....mybe i take a fun course after this....but ur parents wants u take medic....

3."ur spm is good rite??u can go to U..!!"..hmm..not really....i failed add math...

4.u've done ur degree...so..what kind of career you will choose????....aaaaaaaaaaaa

5.when will you show ur bf to ur parents??.................hmm...i dun have any

6."when will u get married...??"...i dun have any bf..so how am i suppose to get married??

and the question will go on..and on...i can see why my sister getting stressed up about this..

let me tell u...

1.IT'S YOUR LIFE..PLAN IT WISELY..LIFE IS ONLY ONCE..DON'T REGRET ANYTHING THAT YOU CHOOSE..

2.AFTER PLANNED IT...DOA IS IMPORTANT..LEAVE IT TO ALLAH S.W.T...AS TO HIM WE DEPEND ON...ANYTHING UNDER HIS WILL...QUN FAYA QUN...

3.THREE THINGS HAVE BEEN DECIDED BEFORE WE WERE BORN...rezeki ,ajal, jodoh..so don't fear why ur soulmate or u can called future husband is not arrive yet...



if anything that i've say are mistake..please forgive me..and please tell me about it...we live in this world will not survive from making any mistake and sin...

warts

it hurts..
it hurts..
it hurts..
please get off from my leg..
it's hard to walk...

exxammmsss...!!!!

the week of exam...
i have to struggle....
too many papers..
with no gaps..
rite now i'm hearing

SONATA No. 5 in C major

mybe i'm a bit crazy rite now....

don't bother me....:::PPPPPP